One More Time
by Memo-Jam
Summary: Tino holds a horrible secret: He self harms. Every cut means something, and he deserves it all. But after meeting Mathias' cousin Berwald, the secret comes out and Tino is left in pieces. But in the midst of it all, he never thought he'd fall for Berwald. Sufin.Angst,OOCness
1. Fake Smiles

**Chapter 1 may be quite slow as its the introduction of the story ;_;**

**Anyway, this story contains angst, self-harm, and more sadness. But it will have a happy ending. Also, the characters may be OOC.**

**Pairing: Sufin**

* * *

Locking the door of his room, Tino pushed a lock of hair behind his ear before walking slowly to his bed, taking out a box out from underneath his bed. Inside the box lay a razor. A sharp, glinting razor. Peeling off the bandages from his wrists, Tino picked up the knife, holding it against the scarred skin.

_Pathetic, worthless, faggot, ugly, stupid, waste of space..._

The little voice in the Finn's head spurred him on. Slicing up his skin was a small payment for his repeated failures. Blood dripped down his arm, falling onto his lap.

"That's enough for today..." Tino whispered to himself, placing the knife back into the box before tiptoeing to the bathroom and running cold water over his abused wrist. The pain made him shudder, but he felt a sense of achievement. He was finally getting punished.

Checking the cupboard underneath the sink, the Finn found some bandages and he tied them round his wrist, making sure they were in place before leaving the bathroom to get changed into his school clothes. Luckily, his Mother had already left for work so he didn't need to make up any excuses.

Pulling on a large jumper with long sleeves, Tino grabbed his bag and left the house, locking the door behind him and hurrying down the street to meet his best friend Lukas at the bus stop.

"Moi Moi Lukas!" The Finn said, running over to his Norwegian friend and hugging him. The taller of the two smiled softly, ajusting his cross barrete before nodding. Pulling the sleves of his jumper over his wrists, Tino walked to school with Lukas, smiling.

Smiling his fake smile, the smile everyone was fooled by.

* * *

Staring across the canteen, Lukas sighed, sipping some coffee. He was staring at Mathias, a new transfer student that had just arrived a week ago from Denmark. Lukas had to admit, the Dane was quite good looking, but that feeling was destroyed when the idiot acted like a five year old. Also, it wasn't right to love a boy...was it?

"Lukas?" Tino asked, waving a hand in front of Lukas' face. Lukas snapped out of his daydream, pretending to fix his cross barrete to mask his flushed face.

"You like him, don't you?" The Finn asked, staring at the Norwegian with sad purple eyes. Tino knew that Lukas' parents were very, very religious. He knew that Lukas would probably be disowned and kicked out if his parents found out he was Bi-Sexual.

Lukas nodded, staring down at the table, his blonde hair covering his eyes. "I'll always be here for you..." Tino promised, rubbing Lukas' back.

"Hej! Can I sit here!?" A loud, obnoxious, _Danish _sounding voice asked. Tino looked up, noticing a tall, quite muscular teen with blonde, spikey hair and sea blue eyes. He was wearing his school uniform,but the top few buttons were undone and his tie was tied messily.

Lukas blushed, looking away from the loud Dane, but nodding. "Sure, Idiot" he responded.

"Takk! I'm new here so I don't know anyone! You're Norwegian, aren't you?" The Taller blonde asked, sitting down across from the two friends.

Lukas nodded. "How did you know that idiot?" he asked. Mathias smiled, scratching the back of his head.

"Your accent. I've travelled round all of the Nordic Countries, so I know the accents" The blue eyed Dane explained excitedly. "I'm Mathias Kohler!"

Tino smiled softly. "I'm Tino, and my friend here is Lukas! I hope we can be friends!" he said happily, even though in his head, the voice from that morning was speaking again.

Mathias smiled, continuing to annoy Lukas, who blushed deeper with each passing minute.

_You have no friends, no one cares...They pity your worthlessness and idiocy..._

* * *

Hurrying quickly into one of the bathroom cubicles, Tino pulled off the bandages and carefully took out his razor, slicing the pale, untouched skin of his left wrist. The voice from before was back.

_Fat, ugly, always shadowed by Lukas, pathetic..._

Biting his lip to stop himself from crying out, Tino continued to cut untill the razor was stained red with blood. He felt better, better than ever before as he washed the blood off his arm and razor, bandaging his arms. After all, he deserved the pain, the stinging, horrible pain.

"Hey Fin!" Mathias shouted, waving Tino to join him and Lukas. "Me and Lukey were gonna hang out tonight at the arcade! You wanna come?" He was cut off as Lukas hit him over the head.

Tino wanted to go and have fun. But he'd miss his cutting session. Maybe he could take a razor there, then excuse himself to the bathroom, like at school? Yes, he'd do that.

"Moi! Yeah, I'd love to go" Tino smiled. After receiving the details from Mathias, Lukas and Tino began walking home as it was the end of the day.

"So Lukas, do you like him?" Tino asked, as they took the shortcut through the park, picking their way over the grass. Lukas sighed deeply.

"Yes. He's in everyone of my classes, and he follows me around like a lost puppy most of the time" The Norwegian explained, stopping as they reached Tino's street corner.

"Well, I'd better get going. Meet you at the arcade tonight Lukas!" Tino called, waving as his walked away.

* * *

Throwing his bag down and getting dressed into shorts, converse and a long sleeved jumper, Tino began to dig about his room, looking for money.

"Hello Honey" Laila, Tino's mother said, opening the door and setting down some washing on the floor next to the cupboard. "What are you looking for? You're covered in dust" She said, brushing her son's hair as he appeared out from under the bed.

"I'm looking for money, Me and Lukas and Mathias are going to the arcade and I already spent my pocket money on moomin-"

"Calm down" Laila laughed. "How much do you need?" she asked, going into her room and digging in her purse. Tino followed her, smiling.

"Only about $30..." Tino said, putting his phone and wallet in his pocket. Laila handed him the money, laughing.

"There you go honey. Go have fun!"

Tino hugged his mother. "Thanks Mom!" he said, running out the door and leaving his mother giggling behind.

"Lukas!" Tino shouted, meeting his friend at the street corner. Lukas was also wearing shorts, but he wore a vest top. The Norwegian smiled, and they began to walk to the Arcade.

Inside Tino's head, the little voice was silent.

* * *

When they arrived at the arcade, they noticed Mathias standing with another, taller boy. When the Dane noticed the two, he ran over, shouting loudly and dragging the taller boy with him.

"Hey Tino, Hey Lukey! This is Berwald, my cousin. My mom made me bring him too" Mathias explained loudly, earning the stares of random passersby. The Norwegian smacked the Dane over the head.

"_My name is Lukas_"

"Ok Lukey!"

Tino giggled at the two before looking at Berwald and starting to shiver. The taller boy's eyes met his. They were a vivid bluey-green.

It made Tino's heart beat faster than it did before.

* * *

Ok, Chappy 1 done!

Please read and review and tell me what you think. I may continue this, only if people want me to.


	2. Colourless World

**Hello! I'm so glad that people enjoyed the first chappy! I've already decided that I'll do a side story about Lukas and Mathias for this after I've finished this story.**

**Lol, as for the song they played on dance dance revolution, just type in on youtube 'Jump Jump Nightcore'.**

**So anyway, please enjoy chapter 2 of One more time!**

* * *

Walking into the bright, loud enviroment of the arcade, Tino looked around, pulling the sleeves of his jumper down. "Oh my god! Lukey, it's Dance Dance Revolution!" Mathias shouted loudly, pulling the Norwegian over to the arcade dancing game. "It's obvious I'll win!" Mathias said proudly, holding his head high before slotting some money into the machine and picking a song.

"Hehe, this song is difficult Lukey, but not for me!" Mathias said, as the music started to play. Lukas found the game quite easy as he had quite good rhythm, constantly getting perfects. Mathias otherwise wasn't as graceful.

"I'm going for a drink" Tino smiled, walking to a vending machine and getting a bottle of Cola. Leaning against the wall and looking down to the ground, he pulled up the sleeves of the jumper, stroking his arm. The little voice spoke again.

_They really hate you, Go away and leave them alone, You embarrass them..._

Tino winced. "No...not here...not now..." he whispered softly, not noticing Berwald, who stood staring at him.

"Y'u ok?" He asked quietly. Tino looked up quickly, pulling his sleeves back down and smiling. _**Just play it cool Tino**_... he thought in his head.

"Yeah, I'm fine Berwald! I just had a headache..." The Finn said, rubbing his temples and letting his hair fall in front of his eyes. Berwald stared at the shorter boy, not quite believing him. The purple eyed boy could feel the Swede's stare on him. Squirming uncomfortably, he fidgeted with the ends of his sleeves.

"Tino! Berwald!" Mathias called, running over and pulling a smirking Lukas with him. "Lukey beat me on Dance Dance Revolution!" he said unhappily.

"It's n't th't d'ff'cult M'th'as..." Berwald grunted. Mathias gave his cousin a glare before turning away, suddenly seeing a crane machine, stuffed to the brim with an assortment of toy rabbits, bears and cats. Giving a happy gasp, he ran over to the machine, throwing some coins into the slot before manoeuvring the arm to get a toy.

"Wow, wh'n I th'ught y'u c'uldn't ge m're child'sh..." Berwald muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. Lukas tried not to look interested, but he was watching Mathias from the corner of his eye. Yes, the Norwegian liked toy rabbits...

"There Lukey!" Mathias thrust a small, pink bunny with a red bow round it's neck into Lukas' hands. Lukas looked at the rabbit, then back to Mathias, who was smiling sheepishly. Lukas then smiled softly, then looked away to mask the blush that was now evident on his usually pale face.

* * *

After playing a few more games, they decided to go home. Walking into the silent streets. Mathias stopped. "Lukey, I'll walk you home. I don't want you getting hurt!" he said. Lukas blushed, squeezing the pink bunny before frowning.

"No, I'll be fine" He said quietly, walking away. Tino frowned, looking at the retreating body of his best friend.

"Goodnight...Lukas doesn't mean to be grumpy.." He said worriedly before running in the direction the Norwegian had taken, as he had disappeared. "Lukas?" he whispered, suddenly noticing a lone figure standing under a street light. As he drew closer, the Finn could make out the sounds of muffled sobs.

"L-lukas?" The Norwegian turned round, noticing his friend. He wiped his tears away, continuing to walk. "Lukas! Why are you walking away?" Tino shouted, standing in front of Lukas.

"I love him Tino. It's stupid, isn't it? I've only known him for a day, and I love him. I tried to not love him. God, I even tried to hate him, but it didn't work, ok? It just didn't. I couldn't let him walk me home because I know I would have ended up confessing to him. If my parents even find out that i'm Bi, I'll get kicked out, with no money, no anything..." Lukas whispered, his voice cracking as Tino wrapped his arms around him.

"Lukas...You can't distance yourself from him. It won't work ok? It'll make things worse. But if your heart tells you to be with him, then you should listen to it and just go with the flow..." Tino said softly.

"Only if things were that simple Tino..." Lukas sighed. Silently, Tino agreed with him.

* * *

Tino locked the door behind him, kicking off his shoes and heading to the bathroom, peeling off the bandages and washing the cuts carefully before reapplying the bandages. Getting into his pyjamas, he sat on the edge of his bed, taking out the razor from the box under the bed.

_You failed to help Lukas, you worthless 'friend'..._

The voice chanted. Tino's eyes filled with tears, pressing the razor hard against his skin.

_Just go die..._

Blood poured down his arm, more than Tino had expected. Gasping in surprise, he shot up, grabbing some tissues to stop the bleeding. The blood simply drenched the tissue and continued to flow. Beginning to panic, Tino ran to the bathroom, putting the tap on and letting water run over the water ran red as several minutes passed.

Finally, the water ran clear. Breathing heavily, Tino walked unsteadily back through to his bedroom, throwing himself on the bed and falling into a dreamless sleep.

Waking early the next morning, Tino decided to go for a walk to clear his mind. Checking the bandages, he noticed that the cut would have began bleeding again overnight, as the bandage was stained red. Digging under the bed for another bandage, he tied it round his wrist and got changed into his school uniform.

Grabbing his bag and slipping on his shoes, The blonde closed the door behind him and pulled on his jumper. Checking his watch, he found that it was 7:30. An hour until school began.

About ten minutes later, Tino found himself on the swings in the park. Looking around, memories swirled through Tino's mind. His mother and father taking him to the park, when he was five. When his life was perfect, when everything was colourful. Then it changed. Tino's father and mother split up with he was ten. Young, but old enough to know what was happening.

Not long after that, he started getting bullied. He confidence was severely damaged, and his trust in people faltered. The colour drained from his world, and he was left with a murky grey world, occasionally stained with red.

* * *

**Ok, I promise Berwald will come to the rescue soon! I just wanted to flesh the story out a bit, because obviously, Tino wouldn't trust him straight away.**

**THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE FAVES, FOLLOWS AND REVIEWS!~**


	3. Tell Me Everything

**Hey guys, sorry for the lateness of this Chappy *SEE BIO FOR DETAILS ON WHY THIS HAPPENED* Anyway. I hope OMT isn't going to fast or too slow. Furthermore, thanks for the faves,reviews, follows etc. It puts a smile on my face :)**

* * *

Checking his timetable to see what he had first, Tino frowned, noticing that he had Physical Education. Sighing deeply, the Finn made his way into the school grounds, scanning the sea of students to try and find Lukas. Finally spotting his friend, Tino made his way over to the Norwegian.

Lukas smiled softly, his cheeks a light pink from the cold. "Moi Lukas!" Tino greeted, smiling at his friend. Lukas nodded, and they began to walk towards the entrance.

"It's quite cold, isn't it?" Tino said, "And I've got Physical Education first, and they'll probably make us go running! Then I'll freeze!" he said sadly, while Lukas smirked.

"Well, I've got a free period. I could go to a nice, warm little cafe and drink steaming hot coffee..." The Norwegian chuckled, while Tino pouted.

"Not fair!"

The bell rang, and Tino sighed, heading to the changing rooms in the gym. Quickly getting changed, the Finn was out of the changing rooms before the others had even walked in. Biting his lip and pulling his sleeves down and letting his hair fall in front of his eyes.

"H'llo.."

Tino looked up, noticing Berwald, Mathias' cousin, looking rather awkward. "Oh, Hello Berwald!" He smiled, "What are you doing here?"

"M' Ma th'ght it w'uld be b'tter h're..." Berwald said quietly, staring at the ground. Tino looked at Berwald. He didn't seem as scary as before. To be honest, he looked scared himself, even though he was so tall.

"I-if you want, I can show you around?" Tino asked the taller blonde timidly. Berwald looked at Tino, his greenish-blue eyes trained on him.

"Hmm" he muttered.

Tino gulped.

* * *

After nearly freezing to death, Tino ran into the changing rooms before the other boys, who were still on the running field. Struggling out of his jumper and into his shirt, Tino heard the door open, then a gasp. Paling considerably, Tino turned round, noticing Berwald, whose eyes were trained on the Finn's wrist.

Almost dreading to look, Tino looked. The bandages had came loose, presenting Berwald with a view of his pale wrists, covered in bloody cuts. Feeling tears well in his eyes, Tino knew it was over. He was found out. Berwald would tell Mathias and Lukas, then they would hate him...Then everyone else in the school would find out and he'd get teased again...

Pulling on the rest of his clothes, Tino grabbed his bag, pushing past Berwald. As he ran, tears flowed down his cheeks. He couldn't go to his next class. He couldn't face them. He felt as if his cuts were on show (even though he had fixed the bandages), a large banner above his head proclaiming that he cut himself.

Tino felt trapped, the world was crashing down on him. He ran to the bottom of the staircase, fell to his knees, and started to sob, muffling the sound by burying his head against his knees. Everything was ruined, thanks to his carelessness. Why hadn't he made sure the bandages were fixed?

Choking back sobs, Tino rose, heading to the bathroom and peering into the mirror. He was pale, dark circles under his eyes. His cheeks were wet with tears.

_You are the most pathetic, worthless human being..._

The voice whispered inside his head. He stood still, not knowing what to do, where to go. Staring at his wrist, he began scratching at the cuts.

_Scratch until it doesn't stop bleeding..._

The voice instructed. Tino obeyed_, _his nails stained with blood. He continued to cry, tears rolling down his cheeks. He thought of Berwald, who now probably thought he was a pathetic emo that was weak. He thought of Lukas, who would be sickened by his weak behaviour...

Those thoughts drove him on, his sharp nails digging deep into his abused skin.

"T'no?"

Tino opened his eyes, now seeing Berwald, who stood at the bathroom door, worry etched on his face. Tino backed away, his back hitting the wall. His eyes widened.

_Get away from him..._

* * *

"T'no...c'lm d'wn..." Berwald said quietly, walking closer to the now shivering boy. Tino shook his head, falling to his knees.

"I-i'm s-so weak...a-and p-pathetic..." Tino sobbed brokenly, clutching his now bloody arm. The taller blonde shook his head, kneeling down and looking the Finn in the eyes.

"N' you've been str'ng f'r too l'ng..." Berwald whispered. Tino looked at him, his purple eyes wet with tears. Really...wait, what? He wasn't weak, but he had been strong for too long?

"No! I'm weak! Look!" He thrust his arm at Berwald, who stroked the bloody flesh.

"Th't doesn't m'ke y'u we'k..." Berwald said softly, stroking a strand of blonde hair from the Finn's face. They stared at eachother until the silence was broken.

"OH MY GOD! LIKE TINO IS CUTTING! HE'S AN EMO!"

The bathroom door slammed. _"No...No...No...someone found out... someone found out..." _Tino thought, starting to shake yet again. He couldn't bring himself to move, as he stared blankly at the door. The whole school would know by lunch time...

"B-berwald...Someone k-knows..." Tino whispered, breaking the silence that had settled over the last minute.

"Y's, I kn'w..." Berwald said, looking towards the door, but standing, helping Tino up too. "C'me w'th me, we're g'ing..." he said, walking out of the bathroom. Tino had no choice but to follow him. The tall Swede led him through the deserted school grounds and out the gate, through the streets until he got to a medium sized house.

Unlocking the door, Berwald led him to a living room, and sat down on the sofa, motioning for the finn to do the same.

"T'll m' ev'ryth'ng"

* * *

**First, I'm sooo sorry if this is rushed (I had only an hour to write it, or it would even later as I'm going away) and teo, sorry if OOC at the end.**

**-Memo-jam**


	4. Rumors

**This chapters gonna be emotional, that's all I can say. ;_; I listened to 'The Death Of Me' by Asking Alexandria and 'Narcissistic Cannibal' by KoRn while writing this.**

* * *

Tino stared down at his lap, opening his mouth then closing it again. He couldn't tell Berwald. He'd think he was weak and pathetic. Tears began to well in his eyes, brimming over and rolling down his pale cheeks. Someone knew. Someone had seen. Berwald probably thought he was a freak.

The silence was unbearable...Tino couldn't deal with it. "M-my m-mom and d-dad split up when I-i was t-ten..." Tino began, his voice cracking. "A-at school, t-they..." Breaking down into sobs, he hid his face in his hands. Even now, years later, the words still hurt him...

Teacher's pet. Fat. Ugly. Worthless. Failure. Bitch

Apparently, they had thought Tino was girly and weak because he didn't play football with the boys at break and lunchtime. He had preferred to sit in the corner of the school grounds and read. Thinking about it was painful, so painful. The words and insults had stuck with him, and he believed them.

Berwald stared at Tino through his glasses. He wanted to wrap his arms around him and comfort him, but he knew that Tino wouldn't want that.

"W'uld y'u l'ke s'me w'ter?" The Swede asked. Tino looked up, shaking his head. Berwald hated the look on Tino's face. He looked defeated, his pale cheeks stained with tears,his large violet eyes watery, his lip trembling. Even though he had only met Tino a few nights ago, he wanted to help him.

"N-no thank y-you..." The Violet eyed boy said softly, standing. "I-i need t-to go..." He said, running out the house. Berwald sighed, knowing better than to go after him. He picked up his school bag, heading to school.

* * *

Tino ran towards his house, his school bag banging against his back. He couldn't deal with this pain...He couldn't breath, it was suffocating him. Slamming open the door and running to his room, he fell to his knees and pulled the box out from under the bed. Seizing the razor, he held it against skin and cut, no carved into his skin.

WEAK.

Biting his lip, he dropped the razor and curled up on the floor, breathing heavily.

_You don't deserve to breathe..._

Curling his hands round his neck, he squeezed, cutting off his air supply. His nails dug into his flesh as he gasped, tears welling in his eyes. Letting go and beginning to gasp, he checked the mirror and seen there was finge shaped purple bruises blooming on his pale neck.

Throwing himself down on his bed, he cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Berwald wasn't going to tell anyone about Tino's condition, not even Lukas. But it was too late. Feliks Lukasiewicz, a blonde, Polish boy who loved to gossip had told everyone. Gritting his teeth as he walked through the corridors, the Swede wanted to punch something, or somebody.

"Omg, so he cut?"

"Tino's an emo?"

"How did no one ever notice?"

"Why did he do it?

Entering the canteen, Berwald spotted Lukas and Mathias and sat at their table. Mathias was silent for once, staring down at the blue plastic table as if it was the most interesting thing in the room. Lukas was leaning against Mathias' shoulder, glaring at the floor.

"Hey Waldy"

"H'llo M'thias"

Lukas nuzzled against Mathias' shirt. "He never told me...I thought I was his friend..." he mumbled angrily. Mathias took his hand, curling his fingers round the Norwegian's.

"It's gonna be ok..." Mathias whispered, pulling the Norwegian close to him. Berwald stared. Mathias was acting so...mature..It kinda scared him. Looking out the window, Berwald noticed a lone figure with light blonde hair...

"G'ys, it's T'no!" He whisper-shouted across the table.

"WHERE?!" Mathias shouted, attracting the attention of everyone in the canteen. Lukas blushed, moving away from the Dane and following Berwald who had already left the canteen.

* * *

Tino stood in the school field, the wind blowing his blonde hair. He had forgotten ehy he had came here..Everything was so confusing.

"Tino!"

Tino had no time to turn round before Lukas slapped him hard, sending him stumbling backwards. Mathias gasped, looking away while Berwald watched. Tino's eyes filled with tears and he looked down, his hair covering his eyes.

"How...Why...I thought we were friends!.." Lukas screamed, grabbing Tino's arm and pulling up the sleeves. "Why would you do that! You could have told me your problems! You're so fucking stupid!"

Tino winced, letting out a strangled sob as he turned, running away. Lukas turned and walked in the opposite direction, his shoulders shaking. It was obvious he was crying too. Mathias turned to Berwald. "I'll go see if Lukey's ok...you go see if Tino's ok?" he asked quietly.

Berwald silently nodded, running in the direction that the Finn had went. After a few minutes, he found him curled up on the banks of a river. He could hear muffled sobs and whimpers of pain.

* * *

_See, even Lukas hates you now! Everyone thinks you're a weak emo_

Tino panted, tears running down his face as he curled up next to the river, pulling out a razor that he had put in his pocket that morning.

Hovering the razor over his veins, Tino closed his eyes. He thrust the razor towards the skin.

So close...

* * *

Crouching next to him, he rubbed his back. "T'no..." Berwald sighed, pulling the razor out of the Finn's grasp before he could stab it into his skin.

"Give it b-back!" Tino sobbed, reaching for it. Berwald drew his arm back throwing the sharp metal object into the river, where it gave a small splash. "W-why did you do that!?" Tino screamed. Berwald said nothing, pulling the Finn close. Tino said nothing, his eyes widening.

" I pr'mise, y'u aren't al'ne anym're..."

* * *

**;_; Poor Finny...Will he open up in the next chapter?**

**Was this chapter ok? I was a bit unsure...I hope I wrote the emotion good...Please tell me your thoughts. I'm sorry if this seems rushed.**

**-Memo Jam**


	5. Me or Them?

**Oh my lord. I never really imagined that people would like this that much! SO THANK YOU SO MUCH! Anyway, there's a Dennor in the writing called 'Hot Coffee' it's completely in the POV of Denmark. **

**Again, I listened to 'Narcissistic Cannibal' by KoRn and 'Gently' By Slipknot while writing this. Damn I love dem songs! ;_;**

**We're gonna see whats happening with Lukas and Mathias first!**

* * *

"Lukey! Wait!" Mathias shouted, running in front of the Norwegian. Lukas looked up at him, then walked away.

"I know you're going to lecture me, so just go away!" Lukas said angrily, looking down to the ground and sticking his hands in his pockets, not looking where he was going and stepping out onto the road.

"Lukas! Look out!"

Mathias pulled the Norwegian back on the pavement as a truck roared past. Lukas' eyes widened, clutching Mathias' shirt and nuzzling his cheek against the soft fabric. Beginning to shake as the adreniline wore off, he looked away. "Lukey...You're shaking like a little leaf" Mathias said softly, pulling the Blonde close. Lukas tried to pull away, but Mathias held him tightly.

Lukas' eyes filled with tears. He felt safe in Mathias' arms. He could finally cry. He could cry the tears that he had kept for weeks.

He had never been allowed to cry in front of his parents. Since he was the oldest child, he simply wasn't allowed to. Lukas sighed a breath of relief, before realising the position he and Mathias were in. Mathias' arms had found their way round to rest on Lukas' waist, while the shorter blonde was cuddled against Mathias' chest.

"Don't deny it Lukas, I know you want this..." Mathias said quietly. "I like you, I really like you. I know you'll never like me back though. You're a neat, rich kid that's at the top of the class. Me? I'm a untidy, poor kid that doesn't care about schoolwork...You...You Lukas, you are just perfect...while I'm not. I'm the thing most far from perfect" He said, looking away, his blue eyes full of sadness.

Lukas was scared. He had never seen Mathias so mature, so proper, so sad...Standing on his tiptoes, he pecked Mathias' cheek, blushing darkly. Mathias' eyes widened slightly, then he stared, open mouthed at the Norwegian.

"I-i've liked you...since I first seen you, Idiot. I tried hard to hate you, I really did. I just couldn't hate you somehow..." Lukas admitted, looking away "B-but I can't..."

"You can't what? Can't like me?" Mathias asked, biting his lip, looking down. Lukas sighed deeply.

"M-my parents are religious...and they think being gay is wrong. If they find out, they'll disown me..." Lukas said quietly, looking down to the floor. It began to rain, raindrops hitting them. They didn't move though. They stood, staring at each other.

"Well, You can't have both Lukey. You have to pick one or the other..."

Lukas' heart cracked in two. The more obvious, mature option would be his parents. But when had they ever been there for him? They had never said they were proud of him. They never supported him. So why should he pretend that he was straight, when he was gay? Why should he keep his parents happy, when they didn't care about his?

He liked-no loved Mathias. Mathias had been there for him, even though they had only met a week ago. He had been the only light in his boring, grey life. Mathias meant everything to him. Even if it meant leaving his family to be with him.

"Mathias?"

Mathias looked up, both hopeful and unsure at the same time, biting his lip hard enough to draw blood.

"I love you..."

* * *

Berwald couldn't remember when Tino stopped crying. He held him close, rocking him gently and whispering reassuring little nothings in his ear. Tino sniffled, wiping his eyes on his sleeve and nuzzled closer to Berwald, beginning to shiver gently.

"Y'u w'nna go t' m h'use?" Berwald asked, rising to his feet. Tino nodded tiredly, texting his mum to tell her that he was at a friend's house. The walk to Berwald's was silent, though it wasn't awkward nor uncomfortable. Unlocking the door and holding it open for Tino, Berwald led the way to the kitchen where he switched the kettle on. Looking at Tino, he sighed, seeing that the Finn's violet eyes were brimming with tears.

"Y'u c'n cry..." Berwald said softly. Tino burst into tears, covering his face with his hands and falling to his knees. Berwald looked at the Finn, crouching next to him.

"It's g'od t' cry...Cry 's l'ng as y'u want" Berwald said, wrapping his arms around Tino and holding him close. The small blonde instantly nuzzled closer, whimpering.

"T-thank you Berwald..." He coughed slightly, choking back sobs as he tried to control his breathing. Standing, the Finn looked down. Berwald ruffled his hair.

"I'd b'tter look at y'ur arms" He said, leading him to a large bathroom which consisted of a large bath, a toilet and a sink. Setting Tino on the edge of the bathtub he rolled up his sleeves, unrolling the bloodstained bandages. The blood was dried, but in someplaces sticky as the swede wiped it off with a wet wash cloth, then wiping some ointment on it silently.

"Y'u can st'y ov'r if y'u want" Berwald said simply. Tino nodded. He didn't want to face his mother yet.

"What about your mom and dad Berwald?" Tino asked, forgetting to be polite.

"My ma' w'rks aw'y alot. My dad's de'd..." Berwald said quietly, cleaning up the bandages and ointment and throwing the dirty bandages in the bin.

"Oh! I'm so sorry Berwald! I'm so nosy..." Tino fretted, blushing and looking down. Berwald rolled up his own sleeve, showing Tino his snow white wrist, which had a few pinkish red scasr, near a bright blue vein, saying nothing, his bluey-green eyes distant.

* * *

**Cliffhanger? I think so ;) Anyway, i hoped you liked the Mathias and Lukas bit at the start. (I had to add them in more too! )**

**-Memo-Jam**


	6. It'll Work Out

**Hahaha I gave you a cliffhanger in the last chappy! :3 I'm so evil! lol. Anyway, your reviews made me smile, which is good since I've had a shitty week so far. ;_; Again, we're going to see Lukas and Mathias first..*is shot***

* * *

The two pushed open the door of Mathias' small apartment, their lips locked, fighting for dominance. Shutting the door and leaving the key in the lock, Mathias led Lukas to his unmade double bed where he pushed him onto the soft mattress. Staring up at him, Lukas sighed softly as the Dane started to unbutton his shirt, biting his lip.

"S-stop Mathias...I can't...I'm not ready yet..." he said quietly, wincing as he thought Mathias would be angry. Opening his eyes, he seen that his thoughts were false. The Blonde was smiling. Not his usual dorky, obnoxious smile. A proper, mature smile, which made him look quite handsome.

"That's ok Lukey! It was silly anyway" Mathias said softly, looking away. Lukas bit his hip harder, moving up onto his knees, resting his hands on his lap.

"I-it's just I...I'm scared ok!? Idiot!" Lukas scowled, blushing deeply as the Dane laughed.

Curling his hand in the Norwegian's, Mathias looked at his boyfriend, a serious look on his usual laughing face. "Ok babe, we won't do anything until you're comfortable with it...Even if we did...I'd never, ever hurt you Lukas. You're the most precious, beautiful person ever and I love you very much"

Lukas hit him over the head.

"Hey! Baby, what was that for? I didn't call you Lukey!"

"Yeah, but you called me babe though!"

* * *

Tino stared at disbelief at Berwald's wrist. Blinking his eyes, he looked up at Berwald, who was staring at the wall, his eyes distant.

"B-berwald...why?"

Berwald winced, pulling his sleeve down. "M' and my d'd w're cl'se. R'ally cl'se. He t'ught me w'odw'rk. He w's the only p'rson who und'rst'od me...Th'n wh'n he d'ed, it h'rt. I st'll rem'mber wh'n th'y t'ld me...". Tino listened, his eyes filling with tears, though Berwald stayed composed, though his fingers were grasping the sleeve of his shirt.

"Why d'd y'u do it T'no?"

Tino swallowed, looking down and letting his hair fall in front of his eyes. "My parents split up when I was ten...At that time, I was ugly, fat and pathetic...so obviously I got bullied. It was pretty serious. They pushed me down the stairs and hit and punched me. They called me s-so many names that I began to believe them..." Tino whimpered, his voice cracking. Taking out his wallet, Tino took out a small picture of himself, aged ten, and gave it to Berwald.

Berwald stared at the picture. It held a short, blonde haired boy with large, sad violet orbs. He wasn't fat, or skinny. He was a nice in between stage. He definitely wasn't ugly. Giving the photo back and staring at the real Tino, he noticed he looked more...beautiful. His hair was a tad longer, and hung over those beautiful, dark violet eyes. His hips were wider, and his body was more petite.

"Y'u w'ren't f't, p'thetic or ugly..."

Tino looked up at the statement, his eyes widening. "B-berwald, you don't need to try and make me feel better..." he rushed on, but was stopped by Berwald.

"T'no...Pr'mise me y'u'll n'ver do it ag'in...Pl'ase...I'm b'gging you. I h'te seeing y'u h'rt yourself"

Tino looked down, ashamed. "It's hard..." he whimpered. "I've tried before, and it fucks up after a day...See, proof that I'm a weak, pathetic little emo that deserves to die!" He said, scratching at his arm before Berwald pulled his arm away.

"L'sten to me T'no, st'p th'nking th'se th'ngs..." Berwald said, holding both of his wrists between his hands. Tino's lip trembled, and he looked away, tears welling in his eyes.

"Ev'n cry...Cry'ng is b'tter f'r y'u th'n c'tting...Y'u aren't we'k wh'n you cry e'ther..." Berwald explained, letting go of his wrists.

"B-berwald, can I stay the night?" Tino asked tiredly, pouting and using puppy dog eyes, which Berwald immediately weakened to.

"Ok..." He said, while Tino smiled softly.

* * *

"I know Lukey! Let's play truth or dare?!"

"How the hell are we supposed to play with two people you moron?"

"Jeeze baby, you're cranky at nighttime..."

Lukas hit him over the head again. "If you call me babe or baby one more time, I'll rip your balls off and feed them to you". Mathias winced.

"Ok Lukey, I get your point..." He sighed, stroking Lukas' hand. "You wanna get some sleep?" He asked the sleepy Norwegian who was nestled in the duvet next to him, a red knitted blanket wrapped roun him too as Mathias didn't want him to be cold.

Lukas nodded, taking of his barrette and placing it gently on the bedside table then snuggling deeper under the covers. Mathias held his hand, stroking it softly with his thumb.

"Lukey, I love you" He said quietly.

"Yeah, I guessed that, considering thats the fiftieth time you've said it, but I love you too..." Lukas smiled softly, his blush hidden in the darkness. There was a short silence, and Lukas thought Mathias had fell asleep.

"Mathias?"

"Yeah babe?"

Lukas winced at the Dane's choice of words, but continued.

"I hope this works out.."

Mathias squeezed his hand tightly, staring at the Norwegian with determined blue eyes.

"It will Lukey, it will"

* * *

**Sorry that most of that was Mathias and Lukas centric, but I needed to develop their plotline too ;) Anyway, I hope you're enjoying One More Time.**

**-Memo-Jam**


	7. Interrogation

**Lifes been a bitch at the moment. Thats all I can say really. But writing chapters for this helps, a lot. It distracts me :) Thanks for all the nice reviews, it means alot.**

**I think this chappy is OOC... ;_;**

* * *

Tino felt fear pit in the bottom of his stomach, his heart aching as he got ready for school the following day. Fighting the urge to scratch, he clenched his fists.

"Y'u r'ady to go?"

Tino jumped at the sound of Berwald's voice. "Yeah!" The blonde Finn said, grabbing his bag off the floor. They walked along the quiet streets, a silence settling between them. Another thing made Tino's heart ache...Lukas. Looking down, he touched his cheek. It wasn't sore, nor red anymore, but it still hurt him. Lukas really did hate him.

The two blondes entered the school, heading for the roof, the only peaceful place in the entire school. "T'no, y'u c'uld try c'unciling..?" Berwald asked him quietly, pushing open the door of the roof and stepping out into the breezy rooftop. Tino looked down, shaking his head.

"N-no...I couldn't. I feel happy talking to you-...Oh! That's so rude! You probably hate hearing about my problems!" Tino said quickly, flushing a light pink and looking down.

"I l'ke t'lking to y'u T'no..." Berwald replied, making Tino blush a darker shade of red. The door opened, and they looked round, noticing Lukas and Mathias edging their way through the door, kissing. Blushing a darker shade of red, Tino looked away. Lukas must be happy...

"Lukey,babe, Tino and Berwald is here..." They heard Mathias murmur to Lukas. The Norwegian looked round, his head still resting on Mathias' chest. "Lukey, what do you have to say?" The Dane prompted.

"I'm sorry you're such an idiot" Lukas spat harshly, turning back round and looking up at Mathias, pouting for a kiss. Tino frowned sadly, changing his gaze to the floor.

"Lukey, be nice..." Mathias warned "Or you won't get anymore kisses"

"I don't care" Lukas said, but the thought of no kisses daunted him. "But ok..." he finished, walking over to Tino, who was still looking down, his hair hiding his eyes.

"Tino? Where is he?" Lukas smiled softly, pushing Tino's blonde hair out of his eyes to see him. Lukas had used the same routine since they were ten. Tears welled in Tino's eyes and he shyed away from Lukas' touches, wincing. The Norwegian bit his lip, cupping Tino's cheek with his hand.

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I'm sorry I hit you" Lukas choked out, wrapping his arms round the Finn and hugging him. Tino's eyes widened, but he hugged back.

"It's ok..."

"It isn't..."

Mathias breathed a sigh of relief at the two blondes, and Berwald smiled, looking away.

* * *

"You like Berwald" Lukas said bluntly, while Berwald and Mathias were in the lunch line. Tino blushed, looking away. Did he like Berwald in that way? Of course he liked Berwald. Berwald was his saviour. He had stopped him was potentially killing himself. Tino was lost in thought until Lukas tapped him on the nose.

"Tino? You're dreaming..." Lukas smirked "About Berwald" he finished. Tino blushed redder, the redness now covering his ears.

"You seem to be more happy Lukas, and nicer" Tino smirked, "Looks like Mathias is rubbing off on you". It was Lukas' turn to blush, frowning.

"I am not happier!" He said, fiddling with his Barrette. Eduard Von Bock, a Estonian student, rushed over to Tino's side.

"Tino! Toris' boyfriend has been saying some weird things about you...He said you've been self harming" he said. Everything seemed to stop for Tino. Several people from the surronding tables turned to look with interest in their eyes. Averting his eyes away, Tino silently begged him to go away.

"Tino?" The Estonian persisted, nudging him. Tino winced, looking down, starting to breathe heavily. The silence was oddly deafening, the air was suffocating, the stares burned into him. He hated this. Everyone's eyes were on him. He wanted Berwald, he needed Berwald...

"Eduard, shut the fuck up and stop pestering Tino. Just because you have a crush on him doesn't mean you have to interrogate him. Actually, go away. You aren't wanted here. All you other moronic thick heads, it's nothing to do with you what Tino does, so you fuck off too" Mathias said, reappearing along with Berwald, who looked at Tino anxiously.

Eduard blushed, walking swiftly away back to his two brothers, Toris and Raivis. The students near the four trickled away, many being scared of Mathias, even though he had only been there for a week or so. Tino sighed deeply. He let out a deep breath, opening his eyes and looking up.

"You ok Tino?" Mathias asked, slightly worried for the small Finn. Tino smiled at the Dane.

"Yeah, I'm ok now..Thanks for getting them to go away" He thanked the taller blonde, who shook his head.

"It's ok...Hey, do you's wanna hang out at the weekend?" Mathias asked excitedly. Lukas groaned, his hand over his eyes.

"What is your idea of 'fun'?" Lukas asked, almost dreading the answer. Mathias jumped up excitedly.

"Well we could get drunk, go to a strip club, or have a four-" Mathias didn't get to finish as Lukas hit him over the head. Tino blushed, while Berwald sighed, uncomfortable.

"Aww baby! You're so cranky!" Mathias moaned, then recieving another hit. Lukas was red in the face, probably both with embarrasment and anger. Mathias simply laughed.

Tino watched his friends, laughing. For the first time in a long time, the laughter wasn't forced, nor fake. It was real.

* * *

**I'm sorry if this was OOC ;_; I've got one or two more major plot twists, then this'll be finished... ;3;**

**-Memo-Jam**


	8. Promise, Promise

**Ok, I was lying before. This isn't nearly finished... TROLOLOL. I'm sorry for this late update. I've had a shitty week...A fucked up week. I'm getting a councillor... GREAT I HAVE TO INTERACT WITH SOMEONE ;_;**

* * *

Tino lay on his bed, lost in thought. He hadn't cut for three days, and he was both surprised, and proud of himself. The urge was still there, and Tino felt almost relieved that Berwald had thrown the razor into the river, so he wouldn't be able to use anything.

His feelings for Berwald still hadn't been confirmed. His feelings turned to mush whenever he thought of him, Tino's saviour. The only person that had reached out to help him, to stop him from drowning, to stop him from hurting. Many people were scared of the Swede because of his piercing eyes and 'glare', but Tino knew he was a real sweetie inside. Berwald was just...handsome?

Tino gasped at the thoughts in his head. Pulling himself up, he decided to get washed and dressed as he was meeting Lukas at the bus stop in half an hour. Stretching and heading to the bathroom, he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked different. His cheeks were a soft rosy red, his eyes were wide and shining softly and his lips were turned up in a tiny smile. He looked generally more healthier than he had been in a while.

Washing his face and brushing his teeth, his hand hovered over his small make up bag. Biting his lip, he tried to decide whether he should slip on some make up or not. Berwald would maybe see him, see him happier, more full of life...Deciding to get dressed before putting on make up, he ran back into his bedroom, nearly tripping up over a Moomin plush, that lay on the floor.

Digging in his cupboard, he found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Pulling them on, he decided on just eyeliner for the make up department, because the magazines all said that eyeliner made eyes appear more wider.

"Oh god!" He shouted, seeing the time and racing out of the door. Running through the streets, he finally seen Lukas standing at the bus stop, on his phone.

"Lukas!" Tino waved, smiling and waving to the Norwegian. Lukas looked up, smiling softly. He turned his lips into a smirk. Tino flushed, the redness reaching the tops of his ears.

"S-so what!?" Tino asked, trying to act cool, even though his face was redder than Lukas' shirt. Lukas smirked, knowing he had won the battle.

Needless to say, the rest of the journey to the beach was uneventful.

* * *

"Lukey babe!" Mathias shouted, galloping across the sands to his petite boyfriend. Berwald followed close behind, looking at Tino, then looking away, blushing slightly. Lukas blushed deeply, leaning into the Dane's embrace. Tino sighed awkwardly, moving away from the two lovers. Berwald followed him.

"C'me w'th me..." He muttered, walking up the sandy beach. Tino followed.

"B-berwald?" Tino asked quietly, nearly running to catch up with the Swede. Berwald stopped, turning to look at the Finn. They were at a secluded place of the beach. No one else was about. The only noise was the waves hitting the cliffs ahead of them.

"T'no...I..."

Tino's heart thumped deep in his chest. His pulse started to race faster than before. "B-berwald...what's wrong-" He was cut off as he felt Berwald's lips on his. His eyes widening in surprise, Tino kissed back, opening his mouth for Berwald's tongue to coax his to dance. Saliva running down his chin, Tino felt nothing but pleasure.

Everything was happening so fast...But Tino loved it, the feeling on Berwald's hand on his hip, the feeling of the Swede's tongue on his own...Berwald tasted of sweet mint, so it wasn't that bad.

They broke for air, breathing heavily. Berwald stared at Tino, not knowing how the Finn had taken it. Luckily, he was smiling. "I love you Ber..." he said softly, licking his lips. Berwald stared at Tino, speechless. He had wanted him to say that for weeks and now that he was saying it...It was a bit overwhelming.

"I l've y'u too"

They lay on the sand after that. Their hands curled together, as they watched the ocean. Tino smiled softly, feeling happy. He had Berwald to protect and love him. He would never hurt himself again... Closing his eyes, he nuzzled close to Berwald.

* * *

"Lukas? How is it at home?" Mathias asked tentatively, as they stood on the rocks, looking into the tiny pools that were dotted throughout them. Lukas said nothing for a few moments, staring into the clear pool of water. "It's ok...But Mathias, I'm going to tell them. I'm going to tell them that I love a idiot" Lukas said, looking at Mathias.

"But Lukey, you said so yourself, you'll get kicked out, without money or anything...You're gonna do that for me, so we can be together?" Mathias said slowly. Lukas nodded, looking at Mathias curiously.

"Oh Lukey babe!"

Lukas was knocked off his feet as Mathias jumped at him, cuddling him close. "I promise you Lukey! I'll make you happy! I'll be your king!" The Dane said loudly.

"You'll be my king?" Lukas asked, rather confused. Mathias nodded.

"You can be my queen!" Mathias said, earning a smack on the head. "But Lukey, really...Thanks..." Mathias said, looking embarrassed. Lukas touched his cheek.

"I do love you...even though you're an idiot. Well, you're my idiot"

Mathias grinned, nuzzling Lukas' hair.

"Idiot..." Lukas grumbled, looking out and seeing Berwald and Tino stroll along the beach towards them, holding hands. The Norwegian smirked, holding out his hand to Mathias.

"What babe?" Mathias asked, confused.

"They're together. You owe me twenty dollars" Lukas said sweetly, while Mathias groaned, handing Lukas a twenty dollar bill.

* * *

Tino smiled at Berwald, nuzzling against his arm. "Pr'mise me T'no...Y'u w'nt c't anymore..." Berwald said, stopping and looking into Tino's eyes. Tino stared back, biting his lip.

"I promise..."

He wondered how long he'd go before breaking it.

* * *

**IM SORRY IF THIS IS OOC OR RUSHED I'M SOOOO SOWWWWYYYYY! ;_;**


	9. Broken

** I'm glad so many people like 'OMT' :) Thank you for all the faves and stuff lke that. Btw I'm so sorry about how long this took to write.**

* * *

"Ber stop, it tickles!" Tino laughed, sitting on Berwald's lap while the Swede rubbed his hips. The small Finn leaned against Berwald's strong chest, feeling at peace. He was happy. He felt safe. Suddenly, the Finns mobile rang, startling both of the blondes.

"Mom...What's wrong? Yeah, I'm at Bers...Ok.."

Tino stood up, and his expression worried Berwald. The small Finn had paled, he was biting his lip. His eyes were full of fear. Fear that hadn't been in those eyes for weeks.

What was going on?

"Ber...I need to go..." the Finn whispered, pulling on his shoes and opening the door, leaving Berwald confused.

Tino ran through the deserted streets, his heart beating fast and loud in his chest. His father was back to see how his son was getting on with his schoolwork. Tinos blood ran cold. He stopped, his eyes widening. He would have to tell his father that he was gay. Tino started to walk, weighing out his options. He had told his mother a few weeks ago, and she was happy for him, and she thought Berwald was a handsome, polite boy.

Nearing his house, Tino paused, biting his lip. He could just run back to Berwald, where he would be safe...No..He couldn't leave his mom with his dad...

"Mom..I'm home" Tino called, walking into the living room. His mother sat on one of the sofa seats, her large violet blue eyes anxious, but softening now that she seen her son. His father, however stood, a frown showing on his handsome face.

"Hello...Tino" his father said hesitantly. Tino knew that he had forgotten his name. "How is your schoolwork going? Are you getting A's? You're going to be a doctor, aren't you?" His father continued.

"D-dad...I haven't been getting straight A's...only last report card I got 3 A's, 2 B 's and 2 C 's...but I don't want to be a doctor anymore...I want to be an artist.." Tino said softly,not wanting to see his fathers face.

His father let out a hearty laugh, startling Tino. "Tino, you silly boy...only faggots are artists...and Tino, you aren't a faggot, are you?" He asked, his eyes narrowing. Tino winced, looking down, his hair concealing his face.

"I SAID,YOU AREN'T A FAGGOT, ARE YOU TINO!?" His father screamed,grabbing Tino by the hair and pulling his head up, making Tino meet his eyes.

"Get off him! You're hurting him!" Tino's mother shouted, pulling the man off him.

"I'm asking him a simple question, it's not my fault that he isn't answering it!"

"I am!"

The two words silenced the room. Two sets of eyes stared at Tino. His mother stared at her son, proud. His father, on the other hand, stared at him with disgust in his eyes.

"You faggot...you little gay, ugly, worthless fuck...Get the fuck out of my sight,you're no son of mine" his father said coldly.

Tino felt tears well in his eyes. He ran to his room, tears falling down His cheeks. His own father hated the sight of him. His mother probably did too... Locking the door,he deletions knees,breathing heavily and starting to panic. He needed to cut...He had to,it was the only way to make things better...

Digging under his bed, he found a pocket knife. Smiling softly at the blade, he thrusting into his wrist. Blood sluggishly dripped down his arm, falling onto his creamy white thighs. Picking up his phone, he stared at the screen saver- a picture of him and Berwald kissing. He remembered that day at the park...it was fun.

Berwald would hate him now...he had broken the promise...Pressing the button, Tino waited until he heard him before speaking.

"B-berwald...help me..."

* * *

Berwalds eyes widened. No...No...No...Tino had done it again...After weeks..He had done it again. Pulling on his shoes, He ran out the door, heading for Tino. He barged into Tino's house, not caring about manners. He reached Tino's room, panting. He tried to open it.

It was locked.

Pulling back, he drew his leg back, kicking the door. The door flew open, and Berwald ran in, seeing Tino curled on the floor, sobbing.

"T'no..." Berwald murmured, taking the Finn in his arms and holding him close. The sticky feel of blood made Berwald feel faint.

"I-i..."

"H'sh..."

Tino mother ran into the room next. "Oh my God! Tino baby...sweetheart..Berwald,please phone for a ambulance" she held her son in her arms. "I'm sorry...I should have let him in.." She sobbed, holding Tino close to her.

Tino tried to string words together for an apology, but found he couldn't, as He was slipping slowly into darkness.

* * *

**I'm sorry that it's shorter than usual..I thought there would be a good place to finish the chapter :) I had to write this on my kindle as my laptops being a dick dick again. So it might be a while until my fanfics are updated...I'm so sorry...**


	10. Fear

**Hey guys! I'm back on my laptop, so updates should be more quick now. I have noticed I have 8 multi-chaptered stories to complete! :O So I'll be finishing OMT first. I know what the ending is going to be, its set in stone, not gonna change. I have a vague idea what will happen before that.**

**Btw. thank you for all the reviews, faves, follows and support you all have been giving me, it means a lot, especially since OMT is my baby fanfic :')**

**Now it's time to see what Lukas and Mathias have been doing..**

* * *

"Get out..."

"Fine then"

Lukas walked smartly out the door, past his crying mother, glaring father and confused baby brother. He had all of his clothes and special things packed in his bag, so he had no reason to stay here. Mathias was waiting outside, leaning against the lamp post.

"Hey babe...You didn't take as long as I thought..." The Dane whispered, wrapping his arms round Lukas' waist and resting his hands on his hips. Lukas leaned against him, craving his warmth, not caring when Mathias called him babe.

"I need coffee...I'm fucking freezing..." he said, his teeth chattering as he was only wearing jeans and a short sleeved t-shirt. Mathias laughed loudly, pulling the Norwegian closer.

"I love you, you know that, don't you?" He whispered.

"Yeah, you tell me that fifty times a day, so I took a random guess...idiot" Lukas muttered, holding onto Mathias' arm. He felt safe, showing affection under the cover of darkness; no one could see, no one was watching.

"Lukey, I'll make you the bestest coffee ever, then you need to get some sleep, you look so sleepy..." the taller blonde muttered softly. For once the Dane was right. Lukas was sleepy. His eyelids felt heavy and he craved warmth, his pyjamas, a bed, and his hot water bottle shaped like a rabbit.

Mathias unlocked the door of his apartment, drew the curtains, and steered Lukas to the double bed under the window. "Just throw your stuff in any old cupboard.." he smiled, giving the Norwegian a kiss on the forehead before heading into the kitchen to make coffee.

Lukas pulled on a pair of shorts and a shirt, clutching his hot water bottle, walked slowly into the kitchen. "Hey babe! Awww! you have a little pink rabbit hot water bottle!" he said, smirking. Lukas blushed, looking away. "Lukey, don't be embarrassed, it's cute like you! Do you want me to fill it up for you?" he asked, looking at the Norwegian, who nodded.

"Okay sweetie, just go back through and lay down" he instructed, putting the kettle back on to boil. Lukas wandered back through, deciding to unpack. Taking out his clothes, he put them in one of the shelves of the bedside cabinet. He looked through his bag, taking out his special things; the cross hairclip that Mathias had gave him, a friendship bracelet Tino had given him when they were ten, a small, woollen rabbit that his little brother, Emil had given him...

Lukas felt tears in his eyes as he stared at the rabbit. Rubbing the soft wool against his pale cheek, he smelt liquorice, the liquorice that Emil ate daily...A tear rolled down his cheek and he dissolved into sobs. He hated his parents, who didn't give a damn about his happiness, he missed Emil, who was probably so confused where his brother was...he hated himself, for not noticing Tino's sadness...

"Lukas baby..."

Warmth surrounded him, and Lukas looked up, noticed Mathias. "It's ok..." the Dane soothed, stroking Lukas' hair, holding his hand. "Have I done something wrong?" Mathias asked worriedly, his blue eyes anxious. Lukas shook his head, snuggling closer to the taller Blonde.

"I-I just miss my brother..." Lukas choked out, passing the Dane a photograph of him and Emil at the beach, back when Lukas was ten, and Emil was five.

"He looks cute.." he said quietly, looking at Lukas and kissing him again.

"You'll see him again Lukey, I promise..."

* * *

Berwald sat by Tino's bed, holding his hand and watched while he slept. Tino's mother, Laila, sat on the opposite side of the bed, tears in her eyes.

"Berwald, why did he never tell me?" Laila asked the Swede, staring at her son. "Did he not trust me?" she asked him sadly.

"N', he w's ash'med of h'mself...He d'dn't tell me...I j'st f'und out..." the Swede said, stroking Tino's hand with his thumb. Laila stared at Berwald.

"You can go home to sleep if you want honey..." Laila whispered softly. Berwald shook his head, stroking Tino's bandaged wrist. Tino stirred, opening his eyes slowly and blearily looking around.

"W-where am I?" He asked, his voice high and raspy. He looked around, seeing his mother, and Berwald. "Am I dead?" he asked a bit louder, startling his mother.

"Tino sweetheart!" she jumped up, holding her son close. Berwald stood, kissing Tino's forehead. The small Finn blushed, his eyes filling with tears. Why had he wanted to die? Why had he wanted to leave his mother and boyfriend? He felt terrible, so guilty and pathetic.

"Mom...Ber...I..."

"Tino, I'm sorry..I'm so sorry...I shouldn't of let your father in...I knew he was going to cause trouble but he told me he just wanted to see your schoolwork...I cant believe he called you that horrible name.." she trailed off.

"No mom...It's not your fault...I've been cutting f-for y-years..." Tino whimpered "W-when y-you and dad broke up, things got bad...I started to get bullied at school...and t-they c-called me n-names..." he began to sob. Berwald squeezed his hand.

"Tino sweetheart, I think you should get a councillor...they'll help you, they can talk to you.." Laila started, stroking her son's blonde hair. Tino gulped, looking at his mother, then at Berwald, his eyes wide with fear.

"Mom, Berwald helped me, I don't want..."

"Berwald can go with you if he wants...please honey, It'll help you, I'm sure of it..."

Berwald nodded, and Laila smiled. "Stick with that man Tino, he's a sweetheart, I'm going to get coffee" she walked out the room.

* * *

"T'no...it's g'ing to be ok..." Berwald whispered softly, holding Tino's hand. Tino bit his lip, his eyes still wide with fear. Berwald sighed, getting into the hospital bed next to Tino.

"B-ber!"

"H'sh...j'st sleep"

Sure enough, ten minutes later, when Laila returned, she found her son fast asleep in Berwald's arms. She smiled, settling down in her seat and trying to get sleep herself.

* * *

**Just a couple more chapters duckies! I know I focused more on Mathias and Lukas, but we haven't seen them for AGGES! I also needed to put the scene of Lukas leaving in so yeah :P**

**Memo Jam.**


	11. Talking

**Ok, I am so so so sorry for the incredibly late update! I went into writers block with OMT and I've been working on Concealing the Truth. I promise you won't need to wait as long next time! **

**Yep, America is the councillor in this! I just thought it would be nice...He may be ooc, as I've never written about him before so,...**

***Is slapped for lateness***

* * *

Tino clutched his bandaged wrist, cuddled against Berwald's strong chest as he sat in the waiting room of the hospital, waiting for them to call his name. He felt tears in his eyes, and he blinked them away, his nails digging into the soft linen of the bandages. Berwald nuzzled his neck.

"C'lm d'wn T'no..." he said quietly, his voice soothing the small Finn and causing him to relax against the Swede. A blonde female nurse with a clipboard and pen walked out of the doctors study, smiling softly.

"Tino Vainomoinen!" she called. Tino and Berwald stood, but the nurse shook her head. "Only Tino is allowed in, we think it is more effective if it is only the patient and the doctor" the Nurse explained. Berwald sat back down, but Tino stood, shaking. He couldn't do it without Berwald.

Berwald stared at Tino, beckoning him over. "T'no, r'lax...It's g'ing to be ok..." he said quietly. Tino smiled softly, entering the room. It wasn't the cold, dark room that was in his nightmares. It was a bright, warm room with a desk, table and chairs. A tall, muscular man with blue eyes hidden behind glasses was standing at the desk. He didn't look like the doctor in Tino's nightmares. This doctor was smiling and wearing a bomber jacket.

"Hey there! I'm Alfred Jones, and you must be Tino V-v..." The man looked at Tino's files, trying to pronounce his last name. Tino smiled softly. He was used to that happening, and he didn't mind. "Anyway, sit right down Tino, and lets talk..." The American man's voice softened as he beckoned Tino towards the table and chairs.

Tino sat down, beginning to panic, clutching his wrist and looking down at his lap. "So Tino, you've been having a hard time recently?" he asked, looking at the small Finn. Tino looked down more, his hair falling in front of his eyes.

"I-it's been h-hard since I was ten...Mr Jones.." Tino said quietly. Mr Jones shook his head.

"Call me Alfred, I'm your friend, not your teacher" The American said, smiling softly. "Anyway, so...what happened?"

"When I was t-ten my p-parents split u-up..and I was g-getting bullied. They'd k-kick me, p-punch me, push m-me down the stairs and c-call me names..." Tino's voice cracked as he remembered. The American looked at Tino, his gaze softening. Even now, after five years as working as a councillor, it still got to him. Kids whose self esteem was ripped apart.

"So Tino, what names were they?" Alfred asked quietly, scribbling down some notes in Tino's file.

Tino bit his lip, his grip tightening on the bandages before looking up. "T-they called me lots o-of names...f-fat, u-ugly, p-pathetic, u-useless...w-worthless..." he whimpered, feeling tears in his eyes as the memories returned..

"Why did you begin cutting?" Alfred asked.

"B-because...I f-felt so e-empty, and w-worthless. I t-though that n-no one would care I-if I d-disappeared..." he broke down, beginning to sob, though he tried desperately to stop. Alfred shook his head.

"Tino, please, if you want to cry, cry. You'll feel better afterwards, I promise" he said. Tino remembered that Berwald had said that. The small Finn cried. He cried the tears he had kept to himself over the last couple of years. When he finished, he wiped his eyes, pulling up his jumper sleeve, he held out his arm towards Alfred.

Alfred nearly gasped, but kept his composure. Nothing in his five years of working in this kind of job could have prepared him for this. All the cuts that Alfred had seen before were bad, but not as bad as this. The Teens arm had been reduced to a mess of cuts and scratches. Some pink, some red and some purple. Some were deep, while others where quite shallow. Tino sighed, rolling up his shorts to show his thigh. It too was mutilated, deep red cuts running across the creamy pale flesh.

"Tino, I'm glad you agreed to come here..." Alfred said, scribbling down some notes and staring at the Finnish Teen.

"Me too..." the Finn answered truthfully, staring down at his wrist and thigh, at the scars that were carved into his pale flesh.

* * *

Lukas cuddled under the covers, holding the pink rabbit hot water bottle close to his chest. He missed his brother. He felt guilty for leaving him, even though he loved Mathias and wouldn't go back. The Norwegian sighed, rolling to Mathias' side of the bed and breathing in his scent of cologne and fresh mint.

Pulling on one of the Danes shirts, it dropped to his hips just covering the shorts he wore as pyjamas as he wandered through to the bathroom, where Mathias was having a shower. Smirking, the Norwegian sneaked round, turning the water down to cold then turning to the sink to clean his teeth, giggling into his toothpaste while the Dane howled.

"HOW DID THAT HAPPEN!? Oh, hey Lukas!" Mathias said, sticking his head round the shower curtain and grinning at the Norwegian. Lukas rolled his eyes, walking through to the main room to get dressed. After getting dressed, he curled up on the floor, staring at the door, thinking.

Tino was in hospital, while his brother was at home, confused and most likely lonely. The Norwegian felt tears at the corner of his eyes but he blinked them away, trying to stay strong - he had cried enough. Mathias walked out of the bathroom, not noticing Lukas and tripping over him.

"Oww...Lukas, baby whats wrong?" Mathias asked, slightly worried when he seen Lukas' expression. It was obvious that he was near tears. The Dane sat up, pulling Lukas close. "It's ok...You can cry.. I'm not gonna judge, it's ok.." he soothed, kissing The Norwegian's forehead and holding him while he cried.

* * *

"So, I'll see you next week Tino?" Alfred asked, smiling at the Finnish teen. Tino nodded to the older man.

"Of course.." he said shyly, shaking Alfreds hand then going into the waiting room to see Berwald. Noticing him, Tino smiled. "Ber!" he said, almost pouncing on him. Luckily the Swede didn't fall over so he held Tino close.

"H'w d'd it go?"

"Great! It was scary at first, but Alfred - he's my councillor - is really nice! I-I...think I could get better Berwald..." Tino smiled hesitantly. Berwald nodded. It would be a long, long road, but Tino would make it. He was strong.

* * *

**IM SO SO SO SORRY FOR THE LATENESS OF THIS CHAPTER, YOU HAVE PERMISSION TO KILL ME.**

**Anyway, theres only gonna be a few more chapters of this :') It's sad for me...OMT is my baby fanfic, I remember when I first wrote the first chapter...**

**Sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors :3**

**-MemoJam**


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